There is a childish and immatured side of me. sometimes i do feel like i need to get over everything and just get things done. but sometimes all i want to do is sleep and forget everything. there is no in between.
the weird part of me is like......for example, today i supposed to go to my class at 10.30 am. i woke at 9.. shower and bla bla bla then i am done. all i need to do is just wear my hijab and grab my cars' key. but i dont do it anyway. instead, i had a second thought for not going to class today. it's a bad thing i know. people, please dont do it.
this is a normal thing yet so direspecful and rude. i have to admit that i do this everyweek. i have always feel that kind of feeling every (freaking) morning. i feel burden and tired. tired of doing the thing i hate. i hate to know that no matter how hard it is, i have to go. i hate to see my calendar and count how many days i have to bare with all this shit. people doesn't know how i feel everyday...i sucks at explaining.
good thing is (for me), my lecturers didn't do the attendance. thank god. if they do, i don't have to count how many days i ditched class...because i technically already got barred from taking my final exams. but i don't know if my lecturer secretly do the attendance.......please guys...let me live my life once T___T
i hope this kind of thing end nicely as it is supposed to be, i have been crying countless time since forever, everyday all day. this is not nice to say but my mental suffered.....please let me live as i want it be...
